The Armed: THE FUTURE IS HERE AND EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE DESTROYED

During the uncertainty of the COVID pandemic, on the back of their game-changing long-player, ULTRAPOP, it really did seem like The Armed were the world changers that rock music needed. A band whose principles were anchored to the “all in” ethos, their exploration in redefining the notion of maximalism was something that had to be seen to be believed.

As one gets older, it becomes more difficult to be bowled over by music, both from the vaults and in a live sense. On the back of ULTRAPOP, The Armed achieved both; their performance at Barcelona’s 2022 edition of the Primavera festival, an undisputed high watermark.

Whilst still shrouded in mystery (no one press photo of the band is the same, featuring everyone from Converge’s Kurt Ballou – who has also produced the band’s works – to Deafheaven’s George Clarke), in many ways ULTRAPOP was The Armed version 2.0. But how would they follow such a defining declaration? The answer: divisively. Their boldly titled follow-up, Perfect Saviours (2023), lacking the panache and urgency that made ULTRAPOP one of the decade’s finest moments. Comparing the two, and it felt like ULTRAPOP would be a one off. That lightning in a bottle moment that every band strives of.

It begged the question: what was the Detroit, MI collective’s next move? Attempt to catch that same lightning in a bottle, or reach deeper into their more direct, hardcore-inspired past? On THE FUTURE IS HERE AND EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE DESTROYED, they actually do both, and the results are colossal.

Once again featuring a ramshackle of musicians, including Ballou, producer Ben Chisolm, Cara Drolshagen, Tony and Brian Wolski, Ken Szymanski, Patrick Shiroishi, Urian Hackney, Troy Van Leeuwen, Meghan O’Neil, Justin Meldal-Johnsen, Prostitute, Zach Weeks, Mark Guiliana, Kayleigh Goldsworthy, and Derek Coburn, THE FUTURE IS HERE AND EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE DESTROYED sees The Armed smashing it out of the park. With the digital age and all its ghoulish off-shoots firmly in their ire, like fellow mutant rock odyssey Tropical Fuck Storm, The Armed create a screaming shit storm of dissent against mass culture and the world at large.

“Fools! Liars! Heathens! Traitors!” screams Tony Wolski on opener, Well Made Play – a calcified ball of rage with synths, skronk and cannon-ball drumming lifting the roof off (“Clawing in vain just to see yourself / Not of myth, not ideal / Honesty is the only measure”), while the withering sensory overload of Purity Drag is another indictment on those orchestrators of fabricated versions of themselves online (“You’re lost in darkness, my light is real”).

While ULTRAPOP was the zenith in rock music’s extremities, The Armed still attempt to reach new limits on THE FUTURE IS HERE AND EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE DESTROYED. Kingbreaker and the face-melting closer, A More Perfect Design, songs where The Armed smash free-jazz into punk, seemingly opening a door to a post future.

They aren’t afraid to look back, either. Grace Osbourne is a playful nod to themselves (“Ultrapop was just a fad / Perfect savior put to death… Tearing this place in two / Our blood is yours to consume”) and with a sonic backdrop akin to Warped Tour-era playfulness, it’s The Armed’s piercing missives that completely dismantle their pop-punk adversaries. It’s not the only song that continues a certain lineage, either. The twisted synth sludge of Broken Mirror (featuring Prostitute), crucial parts of the same puzzle that includes Grace Osbourne and Well Made Play.

Elsewhere, Sharp Teeth and Gave Up see The Armed vigorously jamming square pegs into round holes, surging through the realms of pop with brutal inflections of noise-rock. On the former, Tony Wolski venomously parts with the line, “Can’t you see I’m on the edge? / Broken plans in tangled webs” – the kind of life-damaged desperation many of us both experience and struggle with.

That fear bleeds into I Steal What I Want. With a chorus that illuminates everything around you (“Slow motion getaway / Lives in a bubble / Bruised up and faded grey / We all crack the same”), it’s one of year’s best songs, evoking the same feelings when hit with prime-era Fucked Up. And Local Millionaire almost betters it. A fuck you to the big fish in small ponds (“Victim of a self-infatuation / Go fuck yourself”), with another large-hearted chorus, alongside I Steal What I Want it’s a one-two that equates to a dopamine rush.

Which is where Heathen comes in. The ultimate comedown that THE FUTURE IS HERE AND EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE DESTROYED needs, as Cara Drolshagen’s swooning verses create a narcotic effect, and amid Shiroishi’s saxophone and a swell of droning guitars, it’s like a bastardisation of the synth-led ’80s.

As Drolshagen gently sings, “I’m a heathen / Still your heathen,” one can’t help but feel it’s a communication from the band to their ravenous fanbase. A collective persona that is supremely enigmatic, provoking thought and intrigue for those on the sidelines. It feeds into The Armed’s attitude of never doing things by halves, and on THE FUTURE IS HERE AND EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE DESTROYED, their vision has never been clearer in what is yet another crucial hallmark for the band.

THE FUTURE IS HERE AND EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE DESTROYED is out now via Sargent House. Purchase from Bandcamp.