Belle Royals: Robustly Armenian:

Belle Royals are very much their own beast. Yes, there are shouty vocals. Yes, there are guitars. Yes, there are a plethora of other bizarre noisescapes that form the Molotov cocktail that is this band. But, but… BUT! It’s all done to on their own terms, which is refreshing in a world that feels like the imitators are slowly tightening their grip.

While personal details remain scarce, what we do know is that Belle Royals are a concoction of Tyneside and Wiltshire (both via Bristol). Beginning their ascent in 2019, the band have ushered in a growing number of disciples up and down the country.

Their modus operandi? Well, by and large it’s all about torching their heroes. Take the cover of the second of their two 2020 EPs, FTBAASBVSREP. A straight up piss take of Rage Against the Machine’s The Battle of Los Angeles.

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On their shiny new long-player, Robustly Armenian, while the in-jokes and piss taking remains at a premium (even beyond the title), Belle Royals move it all forward sonically, too. An array of scattergun punk with a raft of influences spewing from the melting pot.

Take Robustly Armenian’s opening cut, with Konga Vs Pulex Imperator – a playful slab of noise punk somewhere between the Osees and a modern-day soundtrack to Monty Python (I mean, even the photo that adorns Robustly Armenian’s cover looks very John Dwyer-ish).

The big shift comes on following track, Lorenzt on Film. A series of blast beats and metal-on-bone noise that all opens up the mind to something oddly euphoric in a dance-punk-but-not-dance-punk kind of way. And on that note, I’m Walking Stewart and the hilariously titled How to Watch Football continue this leisurely dip in the fruit punch laced with psychedelics. Here we are met with wild collages of funky dub-punk that could perhaps escape the clutches of AI.

On the excellent title track, Belle Royals flip the script completely, with something likened to Animal Collective rubbing shoulders with the fucking Self Défense Family! Yes, the psychedelics haven’t taken hold (yet), or have they? While polar opposites in this siege of sonic befuddlement, somehow it all makes sense.

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Moving on, and Cher Jean Renoir is arguably the pick of the bunch. Again, there’s Patrick Kindlon vibes albeit at half-speed, but with glow-wave guitars and sample-based rhythms stirring under the mix, it all makes for something curiously hypnotic. And speaking of, closing track, Lupins, is just that, as Belle Royals produce the kind of static sound waves that reach the nerve endings: the result is noise in the ether.

Robustly Armenian is choose-your-own-adventure type madness that hits whichever mood you’re in. Put it on after a night out on the ale; slam it on during a three-mile run; hell, even part with the Richard Clayderman Best Of and stick it on during a candlelight dinner! It all cuts the same way in what is an all-purpose noise-punk voyage.

Robustly Armenian is out now via Cruel Nature Records. Purchase from Bandcamp.